1: where is my mind?-- the pixies

all of the suspense that has been building in your soul, all those sleepless nights since this countdown began august 2nd end here and now. this song gets the top spot as the song that has most changed my life. and really, it makes a lot of sense. this was one of the first songs i heard by the pixies at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school. i don't remember how they came into my life other than the they were dropped from the heavens (or maybe they were recommended by an older cool kid). my reaction was nothing short of fanatical. it seems like within two weeks of hearing this song, i owned every pixies cd ever recorded and had downloaded every b-side and rarity that fearsome foursome had so perfectly performed. that entire sophomore year consisted of me and my boarding school roommate playing every pixies album on repeat day and night. every song became ingrained into my soul. we bought magazines and cut out pictures of the band and put them on the walls. i talked about them at dinner, dreamt of them in my sleep, forced them upon others-- it was intense. this fascination, coupled with the brave new world of boarding school, made everything seem more significant and more real. the two are forever connected in my mind.

the pixies were unlike anything i had heard, though i could pull out bits and pieces in their music of every band i had been obsessed with before. the quiet/loud elements and jagged guitars reminded me of nirvana. the singsong pop reminded me of the beach boys. but there was something else about them that was humorous, bizarre, mysterious, fun and quirky. they seemed to fit my personality well and i was hooked and have remained hooked ever since.

this song is prodigious. it is eerie and angular and strange, yet it is poppy and funny and soothing. it rocks, yet holds back from being a fullout rock song. even though black francis sings of sea creatures swimming in the caribbean, they seem like the most thoughtful, fitting lyrics that could have possibly been devised. it represents everything that i find wonderful about the pixies. besides being the crack in the dam that unleashed a flood of pixies obsession, this song is significant because it has never seemed to leave my life since i first heard it. later in high school, i remember singing this song in my (failed and shortlived) experience in a band (though it made me feel cool). right after high school graduation, this song was played as i rode in the backseat from myrtle beach to north carolina and it blew my mind again (if you understand the significance of this, good. if not, you wont get an explanation here). i tried to learn to play this song when i finally got a guitar in college. and i still listen to 'surfer rosa' as i drive to work.

i cannot imagine my life without this song and this band; they have done more for me than any other song or band i have encountered. after hearing this song, i went from being someone obsessed with a few bands to someone who couldnt sleep because they couldnt stop thinking about all the music that was out there to listen to. my musical taste and knowledge expanded greatly. i began to look deeper and wider and discover music that was not played on the radio and was not being talked about with my friends. i relished being into music that was different and really got to me. it helped define who i was. it opened my eyes. it connected with me on a new level. it changed my life. i can safely say, without this song, i wouldnt be coming home from work and writing about music on a stupid blog every day. 'where is my mind?' is also fitting for this spot on the countdown because it sounds like the end of something, something that trails off into the distance, into the darkness.

pixies, alive: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGXdXcpNsv4